When Your Parent Remarries Late in Life : Making Peace with Your Adult Stepfamily
by Smith, TerriFormat: Paperback
Pub. Date: 2007-06-01
Publisher(s): Adams Media Corp
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Summary
Dealing with stepparents isn't just a kid's problem anymore. With more and more older parents remarrying, you could be one of the many adults having to deal with the issues that arise from these later-in-life unions. Luckily, Terri P. Smith is here to help you out with what to do after your parent walks down the aisle, again.
Author Biography
Terri P. Smith working for the U.S. Senate in Washington, D.C. James M. Harper, Ph.D., is the Director of the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University
Table of Contents
| Foreword | p. xi |
| Acknowledgments | p. xv |
| Introduction | p. xvii |
| "Why Is My Father Holding that Woman's Hand?" | |
| Realizing Your Parent Is Dating | p. 3 |
| Initial Impressions Affect Acceptance | p. 6 |
| Adjusting to the Idea of Mom or Dad Dating | p. 7 |
| Getting Acquainted | p. 13 |
| Take Action | p. 17 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 18 |
| "What Is Your Intention with My Mother?" | |
| Red Flags | p. 21 |
| Romance | p. 25 |
| Be Flexible | p. 28 |
| Trust Versus Mistrust | p. 31 |
| Take Action | p. 32 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 34 |
| "What Do You Mean the Wedding Is in Two Weeks?" | |
| The Possibility of Marriage | p. 38 |
| Examine Your Reactions | p. 42 |
| Find Reasons to Rejoice | p. 44 |
| Take Action | p. 54 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 55 |
| To Attend or Not to Attend the Wedding? | |
| The Pain of Exclusion | p. 58 |
| Share the Joy | p. 62 |
| Find the Humor | p. 64 |
| Autonomy Versus Shame | p. 67 |
| Take Action | p. 67 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 69 |
| "I Don't Feel Comfortable Calling You 'Dad'" | |
| My Mom, the Newlywed | p. 73 |
| What Do I Call My Stepparent? | p. 77 |
| Make an Effort | p. 78 |
| Do Things Together | p. 82 |
| Show Your Stepparent How You Feel | p. 86 |
| Identity Versus Role Confusion | p. 88 |
| Take Action | p. 89 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 91 |
| "You Like Your Stepchildren Better Than Me!" | |
| Loyalty Conflicts | p. 94 |
| Accept the Challenge | p. 98 |
| Courtesy and Cordiality | p. 99 |
| Respect | p. 102 |
| Be Inclusive | p. 104 |
| Withhold Judgment | p. 106 |
| Praise Versus Criticism | p. 112 |
| Figuring Out the New Extended Family | p. 114 |
| Intimacy Versus Isolation | p. 117 |
| Take Action | p. 118 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 119 |
| "Why Didn't You Ask Before You Sold My Mom's China?" | |
| Dad's House, Her House, or Somewhere Else? | p. 125 |
| Making Sense of Your Reactions | p. 127 |
| Material Possessions | p. 133 |
| Personal Finances | p. 135 |
| Wills | p. 138 |
| Industry Versus Inferiority | p. 141 |
| Take Action | p. 142 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 144 |
| "But We've Always Spent the Holidays at Your House!" | |
| Family Traditions | p. 148 |
| Holidays | p. 152 |
| Special Events | p. 154 |
| Small Gestures Speak Volumes | p. 157 |
| Take the Initiative | p. 160 |
| Initiative Versus Guilt | p. 162 |
| Take Action | p. 163 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 165 |
| "Don't Discipline My Children" | |
| Addressing a Step-Grandparent | p. 168 |
| What You Can Do | p. 171 |
| Discipline | p. 171 |
| Grandparent Role | p. 173 |
| Generativity Versus Stagnation | p. 178 |
| Take Action | p. 179 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 180 |
| "Is It Okay to Contact My Ex-Stepmother?" | |
| Divorce | p. 186 |
| Death | p. 189 |
| Integrity Versus Despair | p. 192 |
| Take Action | p. 192 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 193 |
| "Were One Big, Happy Family!" | |
| Experience-a Noble Teacher | p. 197 |
| Overlook Simple Mistakes | p. 202 |
| Apologize Quickly | p. 204 |
| Forgiveness Offers Healing | p. 208 |
| Avoid Repeating Mistakes | p. 210 |
| Happiness Versus Misery | p. 212 |
| Take Action | p. 212 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 214 |
| "How Do I Overcome Barriers to Love?" | |
| Common Barriers | p. 218 |
| Overcoming Barriers with Personal Change and Positive Attitude | p. 223 |
| Overcoming Barriers with Reasonable Expectations | p. 227 |
| Overcoming Barriers Through Wise Choices | p. 230 |
| Learn to Laugh | p. 231 |
| Persistence Pays Dividends | p. 237 |
| Time Is a Healer and Revealer | p. 238 |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 243 |
| Conclusion Take Action | |
| The Heart of the Matter | p. 251 |
| Resources | p. 253 |
| Index | p. 259 |
| About the Authors | p. 266 |
| Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
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